What can I say?

Stuck in a corner
I stood
I walked to my seat
I swung it
I let it face me
I scrolled through my phone
Nothing to do
I opened a bag of chips

Do I really need it?
Whatever! I would workout again never mind
They said I looked fat
But what! The girl needs to eat
Look I don’t hate salads
But when it’s time for chips it’s time for dips
So just let me have it please
What can I say?
We are not the same
That’s why we are different sizes and shapes
I won’t let you tell me how to look
Look I love my body
So let me have  pototoe chips, ice cream and all the things they make run away from.


If I have to fly and crash before you hear my cries

Then do not sermon me to speak louder

If I catch my breath and close my eyes don’t tell me it’s over

If I sleep and wake up shouting don’t call me a coward

Tell me you would crash with me

Tell me you would cry with me

Tell me you would fly with me

Tell me you would whisper words in my ear

So that the world won’t know what we talk about

Tell me you would guide me through the thoughts and the tough times

Tell me you would never forget me

Tell me everything is going to be okay.


Over the next couple of days

The ease to seize your happiness

The trouble to hold your pain

I am pacified

He spoke languages but none that I could understand

Zigzzagged! Zigzagged!

I can’t understand what life means anymore

Roads blurry and poor

Holes and thorns

I am pacified

The silence I feel is not stagnant but it flows sideways and grows deeper

It tells me to mind what I say

Because sometimes they don’t hear your words but the movement of your lips

It is not only sound they can’t hear they can’t hear thier own voice

I am pacified.

I crawled to my doorstep

They missed again… and again

Thier lies like stones hitting my door but not touching me anymore

Because I am a weapon

There are lives you can’t destroy because they have a destination a desire and love

I am pacified.

They say you mean nothing

Your looks aren’t perfect

But what is perfect?

You wake up everyday hating your looks

Look at the mirror girl.. you are beautiful

No matter what they say

The beauty standards they make

I am pacified.

Go on a diet you are fat

Girl eat when you’re hungry don’t strave yourself

For perfection…

Laugh be happy

Wake up every day look at the mirror

Say… I am happy the way I am

You are not their doll to mold you to perfection

You are perfect the way you are

I am pacified.

He spoke languages but none that I could understand

It’s confusing enough to listen to all those riddles

Be perfect be you.


I always knew that I was not me

Not because you couldn’t stand me

It was because I couldn’t be me

Sometimes I want to flee

But you always punched me

Telling me

I was stupid to be me

My mind is always at sea

If only I could feel gleeful

But I only feel sorrow

He tells me to sit in a corner

And listen to the wind

Hoping I could feel better

But he doesn’t know i am a prisoner

My thoughts engulf me in a circle of no confidence

If only you could let me breathe

If only you could let me think

If only…

If only you could understand my pain

If only you could let me float

If only you could make me feel like a queen

If only you could let me rule my life

That would be the best gift you ever gave me


My life fits in a rucksack

I said to him ‘I cannot carry your sack

It is just sand and rock

I listen to the cock

And the ticking of the clock

I hear the alarm and jump

I took a shower and walked out without breakfast

While i hear you snore

You came in last night drunk

I heard you knock

Although you had the key to unlock

I covered my ears and looked at the clock

It was already four in the morning when would this stop

I was sleeping and you just could not stop

I came back at four

You were watching Thor

Life is really a war

I can’t take this anymore

Everything is very sour

I yelled at him and called him useless

He didn’t move

My feet were sore

And i still needed to get to my next job in an hour

The kids came home hungry and there’s more

I need to cook before i leave this is a war

It’s like a video game without no score

Pa mow the lawn and throw out the trash

Amy peel the carrots i am in a rush

Sally tell your dad to turn down the TV i am on the phone

It is always like a zoo in my home

I carry all the baggage like i am the only one

He quit his job because his boss was a bad one

I told him to find a job but he rather stay at home and sleep at one

I threw away his cigarettes so that he would stop smoking

But he bought more

It hurts to see how life had changed him

I carry only a rucksack and a phone

So that people won’t know there are baggages that i carry which aren’t my own

I just left them at home

And i wore a smile to cover the cave i own

It hurts really to see him suffer endlessly

But i kept smiling because i still loved him and he never hurt me no matter what i said he still loves me dearly.



Eat up my brain like a worm

Slowly but you shall surely take it to the end

I always thought that I had brains

But nothing

It’s all gone

I can’t think for myself

I followed you every where you go

You command I obey

You hit me I cry

I walk the next day trying to cover up the wounds

I hope no one noticed my red cheeks

It’s no secret

He was a devil

But I was told to keep secrets

They said that’s what makes you a better woman

Your kids would prosper in future

Because I was a slave

Physical abuse is the art he mastered

He makes sure I never smiled

I thought I couldn’t leave

I thought I had no voice

But I gathered courage and fought back

Society calls it disrespectful

Society calls me a coward

But I did it for my children

I can’t let them see me cry

I can’t let them feel threatened

I can’t let them live life feeling sad forever

I left because I wanted to be free

I left because you never made me happy

I left because I needed to grow

I left because I want my kids to have a different life

I left because I am a hardworking woman

Yes! I can fend for myself and my family.

Growing up

Dear parent

I have a message for you

I was born a very happy kid

I loved to crawl and grab my toys

I loved to draw and colour aliens

I loved to build sand castles

I loved to play in the rain

I loved to play football

I loved to hold my doll

As I grew older I had to go to school

I had to follow rules

I had no freedom

I had to memorise

I had to pass exams

I had to be what you wanted me to be

Dear society

I know you said If I failed maths or English my life is over

No profession!

Everything would crumble

I am telling you I followed my dream

No one was born with calculus in their heads

Or with an Oxford dictionary

No one was born knowing everything

Although I don’t wear suits and go to work

I cook the food you eat

I drive the taxi you take every morning

I control the traffic

I guard you from danger

I clean your office

I pick up the garbage

I draw that painting you admire everytime

I design and sew your clothes

I am the farmer who gives you food everyday

I fix your appliances

Yet you said I won’t make it in life

The truth is everyone has a gift

And everyone has a dream

This is my life I am happy



Hours of silence

Hours of staring at the ceiling

My eyes would blink every two seconds

Then my tears flowed like a fountain

I know the pain I feel

But my eyes are tired

They are red and itchy

I made a mess

My pillows are wet with tears

My makeup smeared on my white t-shirt

My heart pumped

It’s over

I could not take the pain anymore

I took pain killers

Cause my head won’t stop banging

It seemed like it was about to explode

I thought and listened too much

I accepted their blames

He accused me

He abused me

I fought alone

It was hectic

But I made it

The road of freedom was never far

It was always near

But I never knew

I was blind

Blind but seeing the daylight

Blind but seeing the colours

Blind but seeing the wounds and scars

Blind but trying to make you happy

Even when I had to kick a stone or carrying it over my head

I found freedom

I believed in me

I dumped those bad memories

Yes I was with you

But I was never happy

They told me to stay

But they never felt the pain

Les enfants avaient faim et j’étais fatigué
Nous avons vécu dans une coquille
Oui, oui, oui Tu m’as fait pleurer

Je suis retourné à la maison à ma mère

It was too much

But it’s over

If my eyes could speak

They would tell you the pain I felt in the hands of a heartless human.



The painted picture you keep poking

kicking and knocking it down

Tearing it into pieces

Till you fell down

And stood again

I look at you wasting your energy and time

It hurts me to see my image dragged through the mud

My life is society’s talkshow

They follow me like a watchdog

Sniffing and following the trails i leave

Can’t you mind your own life?

Don’t you have things to do?

Moving from door to door

Talking and talking

I still can’t understand why you don’t have time for yourself

Stop tearing my image

Stop trying to get information to sprend

Get a life!

You are killing me bit by bit

I hide my face in the streets

Because everyone seems to know about my life

Even when the words they say is not the truth

They won’t see me as the same person again

I am not facebook

I don’t ask you type

Don’t write or comment about my life

I am not Google

I don’t need you to search

For God sake my life is not your game

Do you know how it feels to be innocent ?

No! You don’t

Because you are always guilty of tearing lives apart

Destruction is the art you have mastered

Every family you walked into falls into pieces

When would you come in peace?

I feel so broken

I don’t think you could fix me anymore

Why did you do this to me ?

Do you hate me that much?

And everytime i pass you smile and pretend as if you said nothing

Imposter! I wish i never bump into you for the rest of my life

You have stabbed my life

One millon times

Now it is dead

What can you do ?



The world thinks that i am strong

But they don’t know that they are wrong

There is someone inside

That no one sees

He tells me to smile

He tells me to walk with the good crowd

He tells me not to stay out late

He tells me not to smoke

He tells me not to get drunk

He tells me to stop fighting everyone

But i always tell him to stay quiet

I don’t need you now

I don’t want to be shy

Do not make me weak

He just whins like a puppy

And stays mute

Behind close doors

He needs air i let him out

I listen to him

He tells me my faults

He tells me to change

He tells me that i need him

He tells me We should be free

I cried in the cold quiet room

Why do i do it everytime?

Why do i hate everyone around me ?

Why do i move with the wrong crowd?

Why? I keep asking myself everytime

But the question is

Why can’t i change?